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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Losers Guilt

Today is the second week weigh in and I am pleased with my results, sort of. I lost weight and inches. I'm feeling optimistic and a little proud except that Big Daddy isn't losing yet and that feels rotten. I suspect I know why he hasn't seen the results I have and I suspect he knows too (although we haven't talked about it because we've discovered that trying to coach one another in an area where we both struggle is not good for our marriage). I know he's frustrated. I know it because I've been there and I'm a little afraid that he'll give up. I'm worried that I'll have to go it alone. I know it's possible, but I also know that I've never done it. So I've chosen not to pow wow about it because my feelings are tangled. I want him to succeed because I know he'll be happier and healthier and we can live a better life together AND because it makes it a whole lot easier for me.

What my head keeps whispering to me (and just for me) is that there's always an excuse not to get better. It's not convenient. It's a stressful time. I just don't have the will power. I can only say no so many times. (Seriously, I can go on for pages with this.) The only way it works is if the reason to do it is bigger than than the reasons not to. So I'm going to celebrate my success (quietly) and enjoy the results I've earned today. I can't promise I will stay in my own sandbox for good and for all, but I'm going to try to to stay in here for today. Happy Tuesday!

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